Triad

Bixlow almost spit out the coffee he was drinking when he heard the tell-tale static crack from his headphones. He quickly whirled around to face his computer just as he heard his partner’s familiar voice from the other end of the line.

“Hey, B.” – it was followed by a yawn. That was good, right? If Freed had time to yawn, that meant he wasn’t compromised or captured or… well, dead.

“Freed! What happened, man?” Bixlow asked, pulling up his partner’s stats, checking the other agent’s location, vitals, condition… “You just went dark last night!”

“I had to. I mean… that’s the mission, right?”

“Eh. Yeah, okay. You sound tired, though… I guess it’s a success? Are you callin’ me for extraction now?”

“No. Mission’s not complete yet.”

“…But you slept with him.”

There was a pause. “Err… yes.”

“You didn’t get the data?”

“There was a… situation. My hands were tied-“

“He’s into that, huh. All night, though? That can’t be good if-”

“I MEANT IT FIGURATIVELY. GOD. STOP.”

“Oh. Ohhh, okay. Right. Just please don’t tell me you fell in love with Dreyar and that’s why we’re getting delayed on this job.”

“No. I’m not in love with Laxus.”

Freed sounded annoyed. It was great. Bixlow couldn’t help but laugh teasingly. “First-name basis with the target, Agent Justine?”

There was a groan. “Just please shut up. I’m trying to explain here.”

“Go on, I’m listenin’.” Bixlow was having a field day. Technically, he shouldn’t be happy that the mission was getting delayed, but they didn’t have a fixed deadline, anyway. They can take their time.

Besides, it’s not often that he has something to tease the best spy in their agency with. He’s gonna make the most out of this.

“I was able to secure the target last night, but there was… intervention.”

“Intervention? What, additional security? Something we didn’t know about?”

“There was another person. With us.”

Bixlow paused, letting the information sink in. When he figured that Freed was waiting for a cue, he let out a dumbfounded “…Dude.”

“You know her.”

Bixlow fell silent. ‘Her’? Who? He had nothing, and it was too early in the morning to use his brain, really. “I don’t wanna guess. Who?”

“It’s Mira.”

“Mira who?”

“Mirajane.”

“Wait. Back up. BACK THE HELL UP BRO. STRAUSS?”

“Yup.”

“MIRAJANE STRAUSS.”

“Yes.”

“Mirajane Strauss?! Hail Hydra?!”

“Please get over that movie. But yes, it’s her. And we had the same target-“

“Dreyar?”

“No, the data!”

“So technically, Dreyar.”

A sigh. “Okay. Technically, him.”

“Wait wait wait wait are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

“Yes.”

“You actually called it quits with your sworn enemy and you both-… Bro. BRO.”

“You’re seriously asking about THAT part? Because we have a bigger problem than whether or not I enjoyed sleeping with two people last night.”

“What’s that?”

“Laxus knows.”

“That you’re an agent?”

“Yes. I don’t know how. He knew that we were both after his top secret files and-“

“-AND HE STILL INVITED YOU TO HIS BED HAH I LIKE THIS GUY-”

“-shut up, he said we’ll never find it.”

“So you just gave up and decided to have a good time? Both you AND Strauss?”

There was a very long pause.

“Holy shit, I’m right, am I. That’s what happened. HOLY SHIT.”

“Well… the bed’s really nice.”

“WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY PARTNER?!” – then Bixlow realized something as he stared at the data in his monitor. “Wait, you’re still there? At his house?”

“Yup.” came the answer, and Bixlow wanted to bang his head against his desk. What has the world become? “Hang on, Mira needs help with her dress.”

“SHE’S BEEN THERE ALL THIS TIME?”

“Yeah. I mean… we both got busted already. What’s even the point?”

Bixlow buried his head in his hands. He groaned when he heard someone in the background call out, “Hey, super spies, breakfast’s ready.”

There was a soft, female voice that followed as well: “Hmm, I smell bacon!”

Dreyar even cooked breakfast for them. The spies who tried to get into his company’s top secret files by seducing him. He’s giving them bacon. Unbelievable.

Bixlow looked at the office ceiling, breathing deeply. What will he even tell their boss? Shaking his head in resignation, he just addressed his partner one last time.

“Dude. Y’know what, I won’t write the report for this. You do it.”

“Wait-“

He grabbed his mug, took a sip and cheerfully said “Enjoy your breakfast!” before hanging up.

.