The Super Cheesy Cliche High School Romcom no one asked for.

In which Keith and Romelle are siblings, Shiro and Sven are cousins, and everything changes when Sven sees Romelle and falls head-over-heels in love.

Teen (13+)
Chapters: 6
Complete
Words: 14,178

Story Notes:

once upon a time, i drew this and this, and then things got out of hand because i have no impulse control. and that’s what you missed on glee.


we just fall where our hearts go

Chapter 1
from his sneakers to his hair

It starts one sunny Monday morning, the very first day of senior year. It starts with one Takashi Shirogane proudly surveying his neat and tidy locker and thinking that yes, this is it – here’s to a hopefully good last year of high school.

It starts when someone bodily crashes against the lockers beside him with a broken whimper and agonized call of “Takashi!”

Shiro jumps and almost drops his books, eyeing the other student in alarm. “What- Sven?”

Sven looks pained – face flushed, hand clutching his chest and eyes glazed. It was an alarming look on someone bigger than Shiro, who was already pretty tall and bulky himself. Breathlessly, he reaches out a hand to cling to Shiro’s sleeve and repeats, “Takashi-”

“Whoa, there, buddy.” Shiro moves to close his locker and face his cousin. “Are you okay?”

“Take me to the hospital.” Sven says, looking even more distraught.

“What- What’s wrong?”

“I- My chest- I can’t breathe.”

“What-”

Shiro gets cut off when Sven grips his shoulders and launches into a shaky, heartfelt explanation. “I just saw the prettiest girl on this planet, Takashi. I have never seen someone more beautiful. You should have seen her- Her hair- her hair is so long and shiny and her eyes are violet- pink- fuschia? Magenta? I don’t know what color they are, but they’re the best color and and Takashi-… Takashi, her voice! Her voice is so amazing, I can’t describe it, it sounds so sweet-”

What on Earth.

“Wait wait, hold up- What-” Shiro says, holding up his hands and shaking his head. “This- This is about a girl?”

“The prettiest girl! I’ve never seen her before! Maybe she’s new? I think she’s a junior-”

“Sven.” Shiro stops his cousin again, because what the hell – “You said you couldn’t breathe-”

“How do I do that, Takashi?! She-… s-she- she smiled- ” Sven’s voice breaks at this one, then he releases a dreamy sigh. “She smiled at me…”

Shiro takes a long look at Sven’s dopey smile. It was too early for… this. Too early in the school year and too early in the morning. He lets out a breath. “Okay…”

“Okay?” Sven hums as he blinks at Shiro, smile wide and eyes – god – they’re sparkling and Sven looks so disturbingly like a shoujo manga protagonist. The sweet and innocent girl protagonists, Shiro thinks, not their smooth-talking love interests.

“Sven.” he starts, careful. “You know you’re my favorite cousin-”

Sven laughs, distracted. “I’m your only cousin-”

“-and I love you-”

“Aw, I love you too-”

“Thanks, I’m very happy for you, but… you know, I’m just gonna go away now, I don’t want to be late for the first day of senior year. Yeah?”

A happy, carefree nod. “Yeah, okay, see you, Takashi!”

Shiro escapes quickly.

He meant it, he’s happy for Sven – but Sven would go on about this Prettiest Girl on the Planet all day . Shiro doesn’t make much of it. It’s just like the last time, junior year, with Allura, but that had faded over the summer after Allura graduated. There was another time before that, with Veronica. Sven had gone and pined for weeks and months and all throughout break- No, two breaks- And no matter how much Shiro and his friends had encouraged him, told him that he’s the school’s star quarterback and golden boy and everyone was practically falling over him, Sven had just stared longingly after his dream girl and never chalked up enough nerve to do more than greet her shyly in the halls.

Shiro figures he has a whole year ahead of him to pat Sven’s back as the poor guy pines after this new girl. For now, he really has to go to class.

.

.

The next day, Shiro just thanks the gods above when Sven doesn’t greet him with his straight panicking disguised as a medical emergency. Shiro readies himself for a round of Excited Gushing. That was the First Stage of Sven’s Stages of Pining – it lasts for about two to three weeks.

“Takashi…” comes the pathetic, distraught whine and-

That is not the sound of Sven pre-Excited Gushing. Shiro raises a brow and looks at his cousin. “Uh… Hey, buddy.”

“I think Romelle has a boyfriend already.” Sven says, miserable. “That’s her name, by the way. Romelle. It’s such a beautiful name, Takashi…”

That’s a bit of gushing, but not very excited. And with a reason, if it’s true that this Romelle is already taken. Shiro tries to be supportive, because he’s a good person like that. “That’s tough, man. Is she… in our year?”

“No, she’s a junior, transferred this year.” Sven sighs. “And she has a boyfriend…”

“Hm…” Shiro muses. “She told you that?”

Shiro has to stop himself from laughing because Sven looks horrified at the mere prospect. “No!” he splutters. “I- I was just… I was going to come up to her, you know, say ‘hello’ or something…  Then she got on the phone and called this… this Keith person…”

“She did?”

“She said she misses him and she said ‘I love you’! Takashi, who else-”

“Family?” Shiro cuts him off smoothly. “Maybe her dad, who’s maybe away so she misses him? Her… brother? Cousin? Uncle? Best friend? Pet? Regular pizza delivery guy? This Keith could be anyone, Sven.”

Sven still looks like a kicked puppy, but at least he looks like a hopeful kicked puppy. “You think so?”

“I think so.” Shiro tries for a smile, then decides to find whichever science lab Matt decided to camp out in for the week, where Shiro may, hopefully, hide from Sven’s mourning over his two-day-old crush.

.

.

It takes another day for Sven to delightedly ambush his favorite (and only) cousin by the lockers again, but this time, he was smiling the widest dopey smile Shiro has seen on his face since-… Well-… two days ago.

“Romelle is single!” he declares in an excited whisper, because while he doesn’t do pining half-assed, he miraculously happens to know subtlety. “Keith is her brother! He goes here too, a junior!”

That got Shiro slightly curious. “They’re twins?”

“Oh. No, she’s adopted.” Sven says easily. “Apparently, Keith drove a motorcycle to school this morning and Romelle rode with him. I’m not sure why he missed the first two days of school but-”

“Wait, uh, where are you getting all this information?”

“Umm… Nyma.” Sven answers, sheepish. “…and, uh, Plaxum. Matt Holt… and Lance?”

Okay. Shiro gets the deal with Nyma and Plaxum. The cheerleaders operated the school’s rumor mill and have been trying to get Sven to notice them since freshman year. Of course they have answers for anything he asked. Meanwhile, Matt treated information-gathering like a ninja freelance part-time job, accepting favors and food in exchange of his services. But-

“Lance? McClain?” Shiro blinks in question, because didn’t he just hear Lance ‘Drama Club Shining Star’ McClain loudly and publicly (read: standing on top of a cafeteria table) declare that he’s taking a break from outside drama this year because he’s gonna be focusing on the drama they’re supposed to be making inside Drama Club?

“Lance thinks Keith is not cool. He says Keith is a show-off with his loud motorcycle, and that the mullet is ugly.” Sven shrugs. “I think he’s just annoyed that someone pulled off a hairstyle that he couldn’t.”

Shiro thinks back to a year ago when Lance McClain tried to rock a mullet and it just… looked weird. It simply didn’t work, at all. Shiro shudders, then promptly realizes that Sven had been saying something all this time-

“-and Plaxum said Romelle wore a pink helmet! With a star on it… She must have looked so cute, I wish I’d seen her but I was at morning practice-”

Shiro goes back to reminiscing about McClain’s horrible mullet attempt.

.

.

For his first week of senior year, Shiro thinks he did more learning about Romelle than about any of his lessons from all his classes combined.

Here are the facts: Romelle Kogane is a junior and has really nice, long, blonde hair that she wears in all these crazy elaborate braid hairstyles. She has a wardrobe made entirely of cute pastel-colored clothes, her backpack has hand-painted flowers and unicorns on them and she is very committed to this aesthetic.

“Today her sweater says ‘I’d Rather Be A Mermaid’, Takashi! It’s adorable.”

“How does Plaxum feel about that?”

“Actually, Plaxum told me she likes Romelle now. She said they’re Team Mermaid.”

Romelle’s eyes were deep mauve , Shiro learns after he had to sit with Sven through a debate-turned-informative-lecture Shiro had internally decided to dub “50 Shades of Purple”, courtesy of Nyma and Plaxum. Shiro just settles with violet. Violet is a good color.

Romelle and her family just very recently (read: literally a day before classes started) moved in their nice little town. She comes to school riding behind her brother Keith’s motorcycle. The motorcycle is bright red, Matt has reported, and apparently said brother is a bit of a punk.

“A… punk?”

“Black and red leather jacket and fingerless gloves. Mullet. Scar on face.”

“Oh.”

Shiro wishes Sven luck on that department. It’s going to be difficult enough to work up the courage to ask the girl out, but with a protective brother in the mix? Boy.

Shiro had caught his first glimpse of ‘Pastel Aesthetic Luna Lovegood’, as Matt called her, on Thursday morning. He had recognized her via the painted backpack.

That, plus the fact that he saw her when she was standing in front of the sparkly Drama Club Auditions sign-up form and signing ‘Romelle K.’ in cute cursive easily spanning five lines, using blue glitter sharpie. He is reminded of Sharpay, from High School Musical.

The following day, Sven tells Shiro that, according to Katie “Pidge” Holt, Romelle and Keith now had a standing invitation to the Drama Club’s cafeteria table. All because Lance had gained mad respect for Romelle’s over-the-top audition (where she did Romeo and Juliet, and played both Romeo and Juliet), while Keith had been recruited by the tech crew.

And that’s how Shiro’s first week of senior year ends, listening to Sven’s excited chatter about how important it is to appreciate how much Drama Club raises awareness and support for the arts and-

“Maybe we can volunteer to help with the sets or something, Takashi. You’re not that busy with the mathletes, right? And the football team can help them sell tickets too, when they start promoting their play- Show solidarity between the sports and art clubs, you know- Professor Smythe always complains that the sports clubs get more funding than the drama club so we should support them- Katie Holt says Romelle looks really passionate about theater. Hey- Hey, what do you think, Takashi?”

.

.

.

It’s week two and Shiro fully expects Sven to move on to the next Stage of Pining any day soon. The Sighing Dreamily stage has always been a trying time, but at this point, Shiro has already dealt with it several times, so what’s another? Besides, it wasn’t the worst stage. It was actually one of the kinder ones.

But then the unexpected happens, because that morning Shiro finds himself holding a folded piece of paper. No, paper was too simple. It’s stationery paper , pink and scented and-… Is that washi tape with stars and sparkles on the edges?

“Uh. You want me to what?” Shiro asks weakly. This is not how he had thought his morning would go down.

“It’s a poem.” Sven closes his eyes, lets out a breath and clasps his hands together like in prayer. He looks… solemn. “I need you to put it in her locker.”

Shiro stares. This has never happened before. Not the love letters, not the initiative to do something. This is easily the farthest Sven has gone in all the times Shiro watched him pine over girls.

“Sven, I-… Why… Why don’t you do it yourself?” Shiro asks, not unkindly, just a bit concerned. “You look like you… worked hard on this.”

“You know I’ll lose the nerve.” Sven mourns, fiddling with the sleeve of his letterman jacket. “I’ll walk up there and then I’ll get scared and run- I- It’s stupid, right? Maybe I shouldn’t-”

He moves to take the paper back, and Shiro holds it away. “No. No, this is- Good. You’re doing something ! I just-… I’m not sure I should be the one to… do this. Shouldn’t it be you ?”

“Takashi, please. You’re the only one I trust to do this!” Sven pleads now, hope in his eyes – and yep, this is Sighing Dreamily, just a more productive variant. That includes stationery and poetry, apparently. “I mean, you can walk around the halls and pass by lockers without people trying to talk to you every ten seconds!”

Ouch. Fine . So, yeah, Shiro isn’t as popular as his quarterback cousin. He’s just a mathlete who probably would have gotten bullied and shoved against lockers if he wasn’t big and tall and always walking beside the school’s good-natured golden boy. Said golden boy who is now pleading for his help because he’s too chicken to slip one tiny note on a girl’s locker-

“If I do it, everyone will know.” Sven continues. “I didn’t even put my name on it. I mean, I’m not trying to be creepy, but maybe I can… build up to it first, you know? I don’t want to freak her out or pressure her or anything.”

And- okay. Sven has thought about this, and that’s pretty sweet. That also meant that this poem has a sequel , because Sven has plans . And Takashi Shirogane is probably part of those plans.

Shiro stares at the paper for a long moment and sighs. “Alright, I’ll do it.”

That’s how Shiro find himself in front of Romelle’s locker, eyes darting to check if anyone might be looking. Thankfully, it was still early in the morning, the students who were already in the school were mostly athletes in morning practice, so the halls were practically empty. He double-checks the locker number before taking the note he had tucked in his book.

It should be easy, the paper was small, he just has to slip it into the gap as quick as he can and be on his merry way-

“What are you doing?”

Shiro freezes, and he would forever claim that the indignant squeak totally did not come from him just then. He turns around slowly, swallowing, and meets sharp and dark blue-gray eyes that he would say were breathtaking if they didn’t look intent to murder him where he stood.

“Um…” he tries, and fails, and steps back, seriously contemplating if he could maybe outrun this kid. He’s never seen him before, but he looked like he beat guys like Shiro up for breakfast.

“I’ll ask one more time: what are you putting on my sister’s locker?”

Shiro pales. “Keith!” he splutters out before he can help it. Because he was pretty sure this was Keith The Brother . Because Shiro has only heard that name in tandem with Romelle’s for the past two weeks and- “Uh, hi- I, uhhh-”

Shiro learns that Keith’s glare can sharpen even more. “You know my name?” Keith grits out, stepping forward, making Shiro step back. Shiro’s back hits the lockers and he helplessly stares as Keith crosses his arms across his chest and raises one perfect eyebrow. Shiro doesn’t mean to eye him up and down and back up again, but he does anyway, despite himself.

‘Sven, you traitor.’ Shiro thinks. ‘You could’ve warned me the brother was hot.’

“Hey. Answer. Now.” Keith demands, and Shiro-

Well, Shiro is just a man.

Also, being a disaster runs in the family.

He breaks.

He closes his eyes and shakily holds out the letter like it was an amulet to ward off Keith’s wrath, then he spills.

Everything.

“My cousin has a crush on your sister and he wrote her a poem but he’s too scared to put it on her locker himself so he asked me to do it. I know your name because he mentioned you- Once. Twice, a couple times! Romelle is all he talks about, he’s not a creep, I swear, he’s just a bit starstruck! That’s all, please don’t hurt me, I’m just a messenger!”

When Shiro opens his eyes, Keith is not angry. His expression is a mix of surprise and confusion, slowly creeping to bemusement.

Keith bites his lip, obviously trying to fight off a laugh. “…What?”

‘Oh shit, he’s cute too.’ is Shiro’s first thought, but he knows he’s not scot-free just yet, so he tries to plead for his life again.  “My cousin has a crush on your sister-”

“No, I- I think I got that.” Keith says, taking the letter from Shiro’s hands carefully. He takes a step back and Shiro can breathe again. “It’s just-… It’s hard to trust some complete stranger putting things on someone’s locker, you know.”

“I understand. I’m sorry, I know how it must have looked like.” Shiro looks down sheepishly. “It’s… It’s true, though. My cousin likes your sister a lot.”

“Sure, but we’ve- Look, we’re new here, and we can’t be too careful.” Keith stares down at the letter thoughtfully. “People have left some pretty shitty stuff in our lockers in the past.”

Shiro blinks. “I don’t think that will happen here. Everyone likes Romelle.”

Keith looks up at him, expression suspicious again.

“I just… I’ve been hearing a lot! And I, um, I’m friends with Matt Holt?”

Keith takes a moment to recall the name. “As in like Holt from Drama?”

“Her brother, yeah. The Drama Club’s pretty solid and you two are part of that now, so.” Shiro shrugs, hands flailing aimlessly to make some semblance of a point. “They’ve… got your back? You don’t have to worry…? I think?”

Keith considers him for another moment, before looking down again. He unfolds the letter and reads.

Shiro stares after it hopelessly. Keith is probably never gonna let it anywhere near Romelle, legit or not. He looks like the protective type. Shiro looks around warily. The hallway was still empty and Keith was busy reading Sven’s love poem, so he takes advantage of that to properly look at the new student.

Keith indeed rocks the mullet like the rumors (read: Matt Holt) said, and he looks straight out of a punk rock band photoshoot with his frayed white shirt, torn black jeans, combat boots, wolf fang necklace and black wristbands. He has his leather jacket tucked under his arm.

He looks good .

He looks even better giggling.

Wait- giggling? Shiro snaps out of his disaster gay haze and realizes that Keith’s shoulders are shaking, and he was muffling his laughter with his hand.

Keith looks up with a very amused grin and Shiro wants to make that his lockscreen, stat. “This… this is the cheesiest shit I’ve ever read.” Keith says, involuntarily letting out another giggle. He folds the letter again, shaking his head.

Shiro looks on in both dread for Sven, and fascination at Keith’s perfect face. “It-… It is?”

“Don’t get me wrong, it’s-… It’s good.” Keith says, noticing that the paper was scented and taking a short sniff. He shrugs like he actually approves. “It’s sweet, it’s just-” he waves a hand vaguely, looking for a word.

“Very sappy?” Shiro tries to provide.

Keith nods. “You read it?”

“No, but I know the guy who wrote it.” Shiro says, chuckling. He doesn’t think anything of it when Keith nudges him to the side, until he sees the shorter teen casually slip the paper inside Romelle’s locker. “Oh. Wow, okay. You just-… Huh.”

“She’ll love it.” Keith shakes his head, and doesn’t seem to mind that Shiro is now watching him unlock his own locker. “She likes that sappy sweet stuff.”

“I… I see.” Well. Mission accomplished , Shiro thinks. With an added bonus of making a ridiculously cute boy laugh, so… This is a good day. Full of surprises, but really good ones.

Shiro catches sight of three polaroid photos taped beside some sticky notes in Keith’s locker door. One was a photo of Keith and Romelle, another looked like a family picture, and the last one was Keith with what looked more like a wolf than a dog.

Keith glances at Shiro with a small grin as he starts gathering his hair behind his head. “So… your cousin, huh?”

Shiro finds himself very distracted looking at Keith’s neck, but he tries to focus. “Um.. yeah.”

“You sure that’s not you?” Keith asks. As he raises his arms to tie his hair back with a hair tie that looks like it could have been taken from Romelle’s stash, his shirt rides up an inch, giving Shiro a glimpse of the bare, slender waist above those very tight black pants.

That’s the moment Shiro’s last two brain cells decide to betray him and declare, “Oh, no, I’m gay.”

Keith turns to him, his mouth a small ‘o’, and Shiro realizes what just happened and drops his head in the tall stack of books and binders in his arms.

“Shit-! I mean- Yeah, no, that- That’s not me! That’s my cousin! I’m sorry-” he groans miserably. Sven owes him big time for this.

“Okay, that’s noted.” He hears Keith chuckle and risks a small peek to see Keith poking aimlessly at the books in his locker, like a complete stranger just didn’t come out to him in an awkward accident. “Are you gonna tell me whose letter I just helped sneak into my sister’s locker, then?”

“Oh, um…” Shiro swallows, standing straight because he wants to retain some dignity here. “It’s… Sven. Sven Holgersson?”

Keith stops poking and looks at Shiro with narrowed eyes. “You’re kidding. That’s… the quarterback, right? Big guy, goes everywhere, knows everyone?”

Shiro nods. “Yeah, that’s him.”

“Holy shit.” Keith whispers loudly at his locker, then looks at Shiro again. “No way.”

“Yes way.” Shiro grins. “He’s been crushing on Romelle since first day of school. Actually, I’m not supposed to tell you, but he’s very obvious about it anyway, it’s just that no one has the heart to tell him he’s not as subtle as he thinks he is.”

“You know you just ruined his reputation with me.” Keith says, an amused grin coming back to his face again. “Now whenever I see him, all I’ll think about is his cheesy poetry.”

Shiro shrugs. He’s sat through years of Sven pining hopelessly, Sven has this coming. That raises a concern, though.

“Will you tell Romelle?” Shiro asks, because as much as he hates playing silly messenger like this, Sven had good reasons for keeping his identity secret from the girl he has a crush on, after all.

“Nope. It’s not my business.” Keith shakes his head, to Shiro’s relief. His phone chimes with a message and he reads it quickly before looking at Shiro. “She’s on her way here now. You should go. Unless you want her to see you here and get suspicious.”

For the first time in the conversation, Shiro realizes that he hasn’t checked the time once and that he has other things to do before class. “You’re right. I’ll- I’ll go now, I guess. Uh. Thanks… for… being cool about the letter thing.”

Keith gives him a small smile. “Don’t mention it.”

Shiro smiles back and goes on his way. He makes it several steps before-

“Hey, Cousin of the Year.” Keith calls out. Shiro quickly turns to look back, and just hopes he didn’t look too eager. Keith says, “It’s kinda unfair that you know my name but I don’t know yours.”

Shiro knows he’s blushing, and he thinks maybe he understands Sven now when the guy claims he needs to be taken to the hospital. But Shiro likes to think he has more guts than his cousin here, so he powers through.

“Takashi Shirogane.” he answers, miraculously without stuttering. “My friends call me Shiro.”

Keith tries to mouth his full name, then gives up and shrugs. “Well. See you around, Shiro.”

“See you too… Keith.” he manages.

Keith gives him a two-finger salute before disappearing behind his locker door.

Later, Matt will claim that he saw Shiro skipping in the halls on his way to the Math Club room, and Shiro will fervently cry slander.

.

.


Chapter Notes:

I just want you all to know, that I picked Sven for this fic because I wanted to make a (space) hospital joke.
Then I found out that 80’s Sven and 80’s Romelle were actually a thing and was like… Well, that works out.

Anyways, I’m sorry in advance. Enjoy!


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