Hybrid Rainbow

The Sixth Division barracks are in disarray when Nie Huaisang arrives.

The majority of the once orderly and elegant place is undergoing rebuilding and repairs. As expected, they are short-staffed – Nie Huaisang recognizes officers from the other divisions helping out. While they were all working hard, the ones who are actually part of Sixth looked very worn and tired.

He can only imagine what state their leader must be in.

He heads to the Captain’s office with trepidation, bracing himself when he knocks on the door.

The familiar voice that tells him to come in is curt. That’s the only way Huaisang could describe it, although he wishes there was more so he can tell what mood the person on the other side of the door is in, just to better prepare himself.

After all, Captain Jiang Wanyin of the Sixth Division is not only Nie Huaisang’s friend, but he is also his superior officer, effective today.

(Well – his friend has always ranked higher than him, but Nie Huaisang feels the weight of that today more than any other day.)

When he enters the Sixth Division Captain’s office for the first time, he is greeted by the sight of freshly-appointed Captain Jiang Wanyin standing by his desk, busy sorting through paperwork, not even looking up to acknowledge his presence.

Nie Huaisang looks at his friend. There’s a familiar furrow in his brows and a frown on his lips, but the strain in his glare indicates he’s tired, too. His eyes are dark, sullen. It’s the first time Nie Huaisang sees him this way.

The new white Captain’s robe looks almost strange. It looks too big on him, specially like this, merely draped across his shoulders while he’s working. The sleeves of his more familiar black uniform are rolled up, exposing the bandages in his arms.

Then Nie Huaisang looks around the room. Like the rest of the division’s barracks, it is in a state of half-repair and the rest of it is a mess. It’s… not the worst mess, but there is still stuff all over the place, stacks of documents and scrolls in little piles around them. Not to mention piles of other random things that are obviously supposed to be somewhere else, like they were temporarily dumped in this room for safekeeping, for lack of another room to put them in.

It’s a mess but it’s obviously a product of someone too overloaded with work to have time to tuck things away in their proper places, not someone who is lazy or disorganized. A mess during a busy recovery.

Maybe Nie Huaisang has been silent too long, because Jiang Cheng finally looks, or more like glances up, and he scowls back down at his work.

“Oh. It’s just you. What’re you here for?”

Nie Huaisang swallows, then steps forward. “Um… Hello, Jiang-xiong.”

“Yes. What is it?” the other asks, not taking his eyes off the documents.

“I… was sent here.” Nie Huaisang says, slowly. “On official business.”

“Well, out with it. As you can see, I’m busy.” Jiang Cheng snaps. “What does Captain Nie want?”

Nie Huaisang takes a breath, and grips his fan tight to his chest as he answers, “I’ve been transferred to the Sixth Division-”

There’s a pause, but only a short one. “Oh. Just help the others outside then, we’ll save the formalities when the barracks aren’t literally in shambles-”

“I’m your new lieutenant.”

Jiang Cheng stares at him.

“Or. Um. Well, you don’t have an old lieutenant, ‘cause, well, you were the old lieutenant, so… uh, just, I’m your lieutenant, I guess?”

Then, as Nie Huaisang looks away to avoid facing the incoming scrutiny head on, the other man heaves a sigh and sits down.

“Fine.” he grumbles. “Sure. So that’s how it is, then.”

Nie Huaisang looks down. “I’m sorry.”

“What?” Jiang Wanyin snaps. “I said ‘fine’, didn’t I? What’s wrong now?”

“Look, Jiang-xio- Captain.” Nie Huaisang tries again, pursing his lips as he walks closer, but not too close. He’s not known for being a stickler to the rules, but he knows what the other has just gone through and he knows he has to tread these waters carefully. “I know… I’m not the right person for this job-”

“Of course you aren’t. But what can I do? Complain? To who?” Jiang Cheng grits out. “It’s my first fucking day as captain, my division is barely standing, we’re down to barely a quarter of our men, and instead of sending me someone actually useful, they-”

Nie Huaisang must have flinched, or at least showed how that hurt, because Jiang Cheng stops himself and just shakes his head.

He reaches over to a drawer and takes out an item, then lays it on the table. “Here.”

Huaisang takes a moment to look. A brown wooden badge with the Sixth Division’s insignia – a lotus flower – attached to an armband of purple cloth.

Up until yesterday, it had been Jiang Cheng’s.

“Just take it.” Jiang Cheng says, eyes trained back on his documents. When Huaisang dares to look, he recognizes them as shinigami profiles.

He’s going through the documents of the men they just lost-

Nie Huaisang looks away the moment he recognizes some of the names written there. People he knew, some he’d gone to the academy with…

He takes the lieutenant’s badge and steps back.

“Thank you, Captain.” he says. When there’s no reply, he continues, “I’ll go and… try to make myself useful.”

He turns and leaves.

.

He ties the badge to his arm. It feels heavy. It feels heavier when he goes around, asking any officer willing to stop and talk to him, and tries to figure out the status of things. He gets several dubious looks, that only turn to surprise when they notice his badge. He gets some scoffs, too.

Nie Huaisang had always known that he didn’t earn his place by merit. Not his previous one in the 11th Division under his brother’s Captaincy, and definitely not this one. It had always been his brother and their family name calling favors and pulling strings, but the words still sting, sometimes.

This is out of his depth. He was never a good student in the academy – heck, he barely even passed the entrance test. Back in 11th, he’d been an ordinary officer. He’d never in his life thought he’d make a seated officer, let alone a lieutenant. He was actively trying not to get promoted, really.

He doesn’t feel hunger until it’s several hours after lunch, having been wandering around watching others work and mostly lost to his thoughts. Then he realizes he hadn’t seen anyone taking a break since he arrived early in the morning.

He tries to get them to take a break. The younger ones do – those fresh from the academy, unfamiliar with him but recognizing the new badge in his arm. Some of the older ones humor him, but most kept going.

Nie Huaisang doesn’t want to argue or cause friction, not on his first day, so he leaves them be.

He goes back to his new captain.

Jiang Cheng is still at his desk, this time busy writing letters. Nie Huaisang doesn’t want to know what those letters could be about. Not yet. Instead, he looks around for any sign that the man had taken a break at all. He sees the tea set on the side, and then spots a wrapped package set aside.

Nie Huaisang had attended the academy with Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian. He knows what Jiang Yanli’s perfectly-wrapped lunchboxes look like.

“Captain, have you eaten your lunch?” he asks, trying to keep his tone light.

“Later.” comes the answer.

Nie Huaisang tries to stay firm. “It’s… quite late-”

“I’m not hungry. And just in case you can’t tell, I already have more than enough on my plate.”

“Are you sure? You really should eat even just a bit, I’m sure your sister doesn’t want you to-”

Jiang Cheng looks up with a glare. “Nie Huaisang. I’m working.”

Huaisang freezes, mouth drawing to a thin line. He takes a breath, then looks down. The metal of his fan is cold as he grips it in front of him. “I understand. I’m sorry for the intrusion.” Then before he forgets, he adds, “Captain.”

For the second time that day, he turns and leaves.

.

It’s hours later when he goes back to tell his captain that it’s late and to perhaps suggest that they all call it a day.

A lot of the other officers had wanted to keep going with repairs but they looked tired, and this time they actually listened when Huaisang told them to put their tools down and rest. That leaves their leader, then.

This time, when Nie Huaisang enters the office, Jiang Cheng is not on his desk working. Instead he’s standing by the wide window of the room, looking out into the ruins of his division’s training yard. Repairs had barely begun there, Huaisang knows. He’d been told that they were prioritizing the barracks and the living quarters. Captain Jiang wanted them to have a roof back over their heads as soon as possible.

“What is it now?” Jiang Cheng asks without turning to him.

Huaisang keeps his voice quiet. “I’ve told the officers to rest.”

A nod. “Noted.”

“I’m going too. Home, I mean, the Nie compound, for now.” he says. “I think I’ll stay there until we’ve fully repaired the barracks here?”

No matter how much Nie Huaisang claims to hate being an officer, he still got used to living in the 11th Division barracks. However, while the Nie clan made up the majority of the squad, the barracks are still squad property. Nie Huaisang didn’t want to make things awkward, so as soon as he realized his brother wasn’t changing his mind about his transfer, he packed his things quietly and, with his new division’s barracks still in shambles, he sullenly accepted that he would have to stay back in his family home.

This information is only met with another nod.

“H-How about you? Are you going home too?”

Nie Huaisang knows the Jiang family home in Lotus Pier is intact, but he doesn’t know if Jiang Cheng would want to go back there, with only servants and distant family waiting for him. Maybe his sister would be there? But Nie Huaisang can’t be sure. She’s most likely staying with her husband in the Jin manor…

He hates to ask like this, but as lieutenant, he should know where his captain would stay while off-duty.

There’s a moment’s pause. Then, “No.” Jiang Cheng says, and his voice sounds rough. “My quarters here are fine.”

Nie Huaisang didn’t want to think about how it’s Jiang Cheng’s first day too, and it all happened so abruptly. The captain’s quarters couldn’t have possibly been cleaned out already.

What will Jiang Cheng find there? In his late father’s room?

But as much as Nie Huaisang wants to ask – are you okay, do you want company? – he doesn’t want to overstep.

He just nods back, though it goes unseen. “Alright. Good night, Captain.”

.

.

.

His brother is not home. Then again, Nie Huaisang had always known his brother tended to stay in his squad barracks except for long holidays or impending family gatherings.

Nie Huaisang maintains a perfect, cheerful smile for the servants who welcome him, eats the delicious dinner they’ve prepared, makes sure to thank them, and then announces that he’ll be retiring for the night. He only drops the smile after he dismisses them.

His quarters in the family home is much more comfortable and luxurious than his former division’s barracks. It’s filled with things that he’s fond of – lovely paintings, well-crafted pottery and fine silks. Yet the calming smell of fresh flowers that someone had thoughtfully left by his window and the soft sheets and pillows couldn’t shake off the feeling of restlessness, even as he prepares to go to bed.

He is brushing his hair absently, in an effort to calm down and lull himself to sleep, when he remembers something that one of the servants mentioned earlier, when he had just arrived.

Apparently he got a letter, and when they tried to tell the messenger that official business should now be sent to the Sixth Division where Young Master Nie is now assigned, they were told that it was purely personal correspondence.

Nie Huaisang turns and finds the scroll on his writing table, and stops when he sees the golden peony emblem of its seal. He wonders why he would get anything personal from anyone in the Jin clan. For a second he hesitates, then curiosity wins over, and he breaks the seal and unfolds the scroll.

.

Young Master Nie,

I hope this letter finds you well amidst the troubling times we’ve found ourselves in. I would like to apologize if receiving such a personal message out of the blue may have worried or surprised you. I understand that we haven’t met much in recent years, but I have kept fond memories of you as a friend and companion of my brother, Jiang Wanyin, from his academy days.

As you know, much misfortune has befallen the Sixth Division, and by extension our family, having received the worst of the damages and the most casualties due to the recent tragedies. Now my brother is left with the responsibility to rebuild everything from the ground up. He has been training and preparing for this role his whole life, and I believe with my whole heart that he would endure – but I know that it would be far from easy. It pains me to think he’s going through it all alone.

I wish I could be there for him. Unfortunately, due to my condition, I can only support him from afar. The healers are getting more and more insistent with trying to get me to stay in bed so as not to risk the pregnancy. The most I can do these days is to cook and send my A-Cheng meals that would remind him of home and comfort. I send him letters – which I’m sure he reads but may be too busy to respond to.

As such, when I learned today that you have been appointed as his lieutenant, I felt relieved. At least my brother would have a friendly and familiar face to help him through all of this. I know our remaining extended family and the surviving officers of the Sixth Division would be loyal and serve him well, but I think we can both agree that it is still different, to know that you have the company of a friend.

I wish you well with your new appointment, and I also want to thank you for keeping my brother company. I hope it is not too much to ask for your understanding if he may not be his best self, these days. I know more than anyone how my brother could get, specially in the face of such pressure and as you know, grief. I’ve seen you take his more difficult qualities in stride, as only a good friend would, way back when. I ask for your patience to do this once more during these trying times.

I pray for your safety and good health. Please do not hesitate to reach out should you need anything. I shall do my best to help in any way I am able to.

Yours sincerely,
Jiang Yanli

.

Nie Huaisang puts the scroll down and takes a deep breath.

He wants to cry. He wants to scream.

He wants to write back to Jiang Yanli and ask why she thinks he’ll be any help or any good at all in Sixth Division. He wants to say that he didn’t pick his new job – to take care of her brother – it was forced on him. He’s probably not the “good friend” she thinks he is for her brother.

He wants to go up to his da-ge and tell him about the terrible day he’s had, how his new squad doesn’t even like or respect him, and how Jiang Wanyin didn’t even look at him. How his appointment is not good for anyone. What was his da-ge thinking, agreeing to this?

He wants to go back to Sixth Division and barge in the captain’s quarters and grab his captain- Jiang Wanyin- Jiang Cheng- his friend, A-Cheng, and ask him why he’s so mean, he should be more sad – it’s fine if he’s sad!

He wants to tell Jiang Cheng that his sister is so worried for him she decided to write to a near-stranger, and that it’s crazy that he wants to stay in his dead father’s room, and pretend that he’s okay with suddenly being promoted to captain, without Wei Wuxian to be his right hand, without two-thirds of the squad he’s supposed to lead, in a mostly-destroyed division barracks.

They were all just laughing and drinking together two weeks ago – what happened?

(Well, the Wen clan happened. More specifically, Wen Ruohan – but ultimately, he failed. Although not without casualties, with the Second and Sixth Divisions bearing the brunt of it all, ridding the Jiang clan of its matriarch and patriarch in one night.)

(Not to mention the loss of some of their most promising officers – Wen Qing and her brother had disappeared, and Wei Wuxian still hasn’t been found.)

(Everyone else thinks they must be deserters, collaborators of the Wen. Nie Huaisang isn’t everyone else.)

Mostly, as Nie Huaisang mulls over these recent tragedies, the day he’s had and the letter he just read, he finally realizes what he’s wanted to do all day.

He wants to go up to A-Cheng and hug him and say he’s sorry – he’s sorry his friend lost his parents, his brother, his squad, his second home. Nie Huaisang just wants to give his friend a good tight hug, and to say that he’s here for anything he needs, and to ask how he can help.

But no, his friend had to close off and be mad at him and, that’s fair, because Nie Huaisang is practically useless as a lieutenant, but he had been so cold – he was never that cold – and Wei Wuxian is missing… and Nie Huaisang had been at a loss on how to… be. How to be a lieutenant. How to be with Jiang Cheng without Wei Wuxian. How to be a subordinate when he’d rather be a friend.

But Nie Huaisang doesn’t cry. He doesn’t scream. He feels like he doesn’t have the right to, not when other people had it worse.

He feels helpless, still. It’s this feeling of helplessness that he goes to bed with.